Are we actually aware?

I am not a Politics Person, I have never been interested. Now I know the reason behind that. If you hold an opinion about politicos or any politician you need to either be very dumb who can be manipulated by public opinions or should be very smart with great knowledge of Indian politics and history. I realized this when I witnessed a great debate in office today.

The topic which started with is Narendra Modi a fit candidate for India, went a long way to is India actually Secular and ended with a doubt on the equality issues of the country. I was very proud of being a part of this generation, I always believed that our generation is going to make a big impact. But is it doing anything other than being manipulated by the preceding generations?

The social media especially twitter, Facebook and Whatsapp has made us lame. When was the last time we chose to talk to learned men and get the real fact based information instead of searching a hash tag on the web or google -  ing it? Our basics our hollow, be it politics, history or any thing. This is what I realized in the debate where a friend and me were for Modi and a senior reporter against him. 

This is when we realized that how non secular and religion biased we were as somewhere down the line we do have a Hindu Muslim bias in our hearts though we sailing in the modern era. We said yes to Modi for development, he said for Hitler ism. We said yes to Modi for Unity, he laughed and said seriously? Unity among Hindus not Indian, right? We said yes to Modi for Modernization, he said you might even have to get ready to wear Burkhas now that the Hindutva Wadi Rule may start. If supporting Congress is the fear of getting raped, supporting BJP is fear of losing freedom. 

When we said Modi will keep everyone equal and finish the reservation we have to bear as youth in college admissions, jobs and everywhere. He replied if you are so fed up of the biased system in 50 years, imagine what they have gone through for 5000 years. We said why should we pay for what happened in the past, he replied why did they pay for no misdeeds at all. We said that reservation is making people misuse it, he just asked a small question, Aren't you misusing not being a backward by treating your maids and toilet cleaners badly even now? We said it hardly happens in the cities, he replied go to villages where they cannot still draw water from the same well, pray to God just from the steps of a temple and have no right to education, and trust me women there are villages like these. You may ask for equality in your fancy city only when you get it applied in those downtrodden villages.

When we said neither is Congress doing anything for the country, then what should we chose? He replied that is the essence of politics, the one playing do not suffer. The only ones suffering are the ones being played and they are the common ones.

This conversation made me think how hollow our decisions are, how soon we get manipulated and how narrow our minds were..

Alone all life...

“You still have a long way to go Beta, you are in you 30’s only”, her mother was trying to convince her as much as possible. But it was all in vain. She was not going to follow her family’s wishes this time – not this one at least. Radhika was sitting on her porch writing her diary. It was a year back when her husband had died of an accident. She had a son and was managing their life by working as a teacher in a local school. Today was the First Death Anniversary of her husband. All her family and her in laws were there. Her mother sat next to her and tried to convince her.

“You cannot live alone all life, Beta. Look at you, you are beautiful and fragile. Our society has a different way of looking at women who do not have a male protector. Plus, how are you going to live all by yourself all life?”

Radhika did not pay heed to her mother. Her face was glowing pink and her thick black hair made her look much prettier than she ever was. Her thick lashes and big eyes were attractive and could lure any body into them.

“Ma, I do not want to marry again. I am fine, please stop it.”

She left the room keeping the diary on her table. Her mother was disappointed. She gave a sigh and went behind her telling her the number of marriage proposals she has started getting already. Nobody knew why she did not want to marry again except for the diary page she had written.

Dear Diary.

Since the past 6 months everybody around me is worried about me being alone for the rest of my life. I still am not understanding their definition of alone or loneliness though. Yes, I was married to a man and he dies. Does that mean I would be unhappy all my life?

The man who was my husband for the past 10 years, never loved me. He never was happy with me nor did he want me happy. He was forced to marry me, but I never was aware of it. I guess arranged marriage was the problem he had or maybe he thought I was never good enough for him. Sex was also never as my girlfriends told me it would be like, no feelings and no emotions and no touch that would make me feel special. He was my husband but he suffocated me in my own life. Even when the day he dies, people easily forget that he was drunk and was another girl in the car when they had the accident. 

Isn’t being alone better than being with someone who definitely does not love you? I feel free after he is gone. Though I know this sounds harsh but it is true. I was fed up of being a loyal wife to a cheating husband. I die each day being humiliated and insulted. Yes, he never hit me, but that never meant he respected me either.

Why does everybody want me to get in the same storm again? I am free and I want to live my way. I want to raise my kid on my own and do want any protector around me who himself would someday turn out to by killer. I hope that all realize that I do not need support, I do need love, I do not need anybody taking away my life back from me. And as far as the belief that I will be alone all life, I have you with me to keep away the loneliness.

Love,

Radhika

Alone all life...

“You still have a long way to go Beta, you are in you 30’s only”, her mother was trying to convince her as much as possible. But it was all in vain. She was not going to follow her family’s wishes this time – not this one at least. Radhika was sitting on her porch writing her diary. It was a year back when her husband had died of an accident. She had a son and was managing their life by working as a teacher in a local school. Today was the First Death Anniversary of her husband. All her family and her in laws were there. Her mother sat next to her and tried to convince her.

“You cannot live alone all life, Beta. Look at you, you are beautiful and fragile. Our society has a different way of looking at women who do not have a male protector. Plus, how are you going to live all by yourself all life?”

Radhika did not pay heed to her mother. Her face was glowing pink and her thick black hair made her look much prettier than she ever was. Her thick lashes and big eyes were attractive and could lure any body into them.

“Ma, I do not want to marry again. I am fine, please stop it.”

She left the room keeping the diary on her table. Her mother was disappointed. She gave a sigh and went behind her telling her the number of marriage proposals she has started getting already. Nobody knew why she did not want to marry again except for the diary page she had written.

Dear Diary.

Since the past 6 months everybody around me is worried about me being alone for the rest of my life. I still am not understanding their definition of alone or loneliness though. Yes, I was married to a man and he dies. Does that mean I would be unhappy all my life?

The man who was my husband for the past 10 years, never loved me. He never was happy with me nor did he want me happy. He was forced to marry me, but I never was aware of it. I guess arranged marriage was the problem he had or maybe he thought I was never good enough for him. Sex was also never as my girlfriends told me it would be like, no feelings and no emotions and no touch that would make me feel special. He was my husband but he suffocated me in my own life. Even when the day he dies, people easily forget that he was drunk and was another girl in the car when they had the accident. 

Isn’t being alone better than being with someone who definitely does not love you? I feel free after he is gone. Though I know this sounds harsh but it is true. I was fed up of being a loyal wife to a cheating husband. I die each day being humiliated and insulted. Yes, he never hit me, but that never meant he respected me either.

Why does everybody want me to get in the same storm again? I am free and I want to live my way. I want to raise my kid on my own and do want any protector around me who himself would someday turn out to by killer. I hope that all realize that I do not need support, I do need love, I do not need anybody taking away my life back from me. And as far as the belief that I will be alone all life, I have you with me to keep away the loneliness.

Love,

Radhika